By: Jess Lander, YawkeyTalkies editor

Shaquille O’Neal might be heading to Boston. I’ve heard mixed reactions from Boston fans on this, but here is mine. NO. GOD NO. WHY?!?!?!

Six Reasons Shaq should go away, even if they are a bit of a stretch:

1. While I was raised a die-hard Boston fan, I grew up in Orlando, and spent much of my formative years hearing one thing about Shaquille O’Neal.  He can’t hit a free throw. This was true, and as I watched the man hurt more than help LeBron James last season, I realized he still can’t. He’s averaged .527% over career, and in 2009 was at .496% Even if these numbers aren’t horrendous, nobody that tall should frequently miss a set shot like that, right?

2. Having two O’Neal’s will be too confusing. Just like two Allen’s were. There apparently wasn’t room enough for Tony and Ray, and neither of them are as huge as Shaq…see what I’m getting at?

3. He’s 38. Our team is old enough. ‘Nuff said.

4. He didn’t help LeBron win a championship, so who’s to say he’ll help us win one?

5. He played for the Lakers. And Orlando. And Cleveland. All Rivals of the Celts.

6. This picture (see above). WTF is he a Genie? My first wish, is that you don’t come to Boston. K, thanks.

Okay, I guess I can’t come up with good enough reasons that Beantown should seriously run Shaq out of town. He probably will be good to have around while Perkins is recovering. He is REALLY big, which can’t hurt. And, as a friend of mine pointed out, he along with Big Baby and Nate Robinson will be pretty entertaining. It’ll be like Shrek’s Daddy, Shrek, and Donkey.

I also really LOVE the idea, via ESPNBoston, of calling him either the Green Monster or the Bigger Papi. I always thought “Shaq” was a dumb nickname.

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