By: Jess Lander, YawkeyTalkies Editor

It’s Back!!

Yeah I know, it’s just a preseason game, but football is finally here. Take a break from the literally broken Red Sox, because I don’t know about you, but they are giving me some serious “Can we catch the wildcard?” anxiety.

Try to forget the last time we saw our Patriots in action. I know I don’t remember shit having drunk myself back to a time when we were the kind of team that doesn’t let the freaking Baltimore Ravens man handle us. So, grab some beer, some wings, and sit back and enjoy the beginning-of-a-new-year-anything-is-possible-bliss.

Lucky for our boys, their first competition is none other than the Saintly SuperBowl Champs. This might seem rather unlucky, but the fact is that these games don’t matter. So, even if Drew and his team breezes (I’m feeling quite pun-ny today) by the Patriots, it’s okay because it doesn’t mean anything. All it means, is we got to play against some good competition to help us prepare for the games that count.

Now, I know these games are hard to watch, especially by third when you don’t recognize any of our players on the field. But, exhibition matches will give us a little more insight into Belichick’s head and the upcoming season.

To make this more fun, I’ve created a Pre-Season Drinking Game. By the end of the night even if some of your questions aren’t answered, you’ll be happily wasted.

1. If Wes Welker comes onto the field, DRINK. In fact, Cheers with your buddy next to you. This will be a glorious moment of, okay, maybe he’s ready and we’re not completely fucked.

2. If Wes Welker scores a touchdown, take a shot for the little man.

3. Any time we sack Brees or any other QB, drink. We had some serious problems with this last year if I remember correctly. If I’m wrong, I blame the heavy drinking they drove me too last playoffs, and either way, sacking is something to celebrate.

4. If Maroney fumbles, chug the rest of your beer. This is the kind of drink to ease to pain. Oh god, not again. He STILL sucks. If Maroney holds onto the damn ball, hell, drink then too and yell Hallelujah!

5. Anytime a rookie impresses you, drink. He have some definite holes to fill and anyone who steps up deserves some praise.

6. Anytime we actually run the ball more than ten yards, drink. We really need to diversify our game here.

7. If we win, head to the bar and keep going.

Happy Pre-Season Everyone!

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